My girlfriend asked me to put this up.
Keep your bloated classes, your virtual tables,
Your layers of nonsense and OOP fables.
I don’t want your templates, your "modern" crusade,
Just give me the bare iron the architects made.
A pointer, a byte, an explicit free,
No garbage collectors out-thinking me.
If you dereference NULL, it crashes—you learn;
The machine doesn't care if your feelings get burned.
Eight-space indents, clear functions, good taste,
Not twenty abstractions with cycles to waste.
It’s lean, it is ruthless, it cuts to the bone—
Write real C, or leave the damn kernel alone.